Why Haiti my niece asked?

We all heard about the catastrophic Haiti earthquake that happened earlier this year and I am also sure you heard about all the aids that were sent to Haiti from all over the world, its the least we could do of course our prayers to God the all mighty to help them in putting an end to their misery, in the end everything does happen for a reason. This is not the main reason behind this post, its because I had to face a question from a 6 year old that pushed me to publish this.
My niece Yasmine goes to the same school I teach at the IAA, currently this school is supposed to be one of the best schools in the Kingdom, since the catastrophic earthquake the blasted its way through on the 12th of January 2010 the school became highly active organizing clothes and books drives, bake sales, selling black T-shirts with Help Haiti printed on them as well as having Twelve Terrific Teachers from the school who ran the 242km marathon to raise funds for Haiti.
The T-shirts where sold to almost all the students, and to make them more appealing to 1st graders they were white and printed on them was the class photo underneath help Haiti, Yasmine bought the T-shirt because all her classmates did so, she came to me wearing it and she’s showing it off to everyone and she said to me: "you know Hind why I bought this T-shirt?" why? I asked she replied:
"only because it has me and my friends on it, I don't understand Hind WHY HAITI, I know about the earthquake and all those who died but it was an accident and accidents happen, why didn't they do this bake sale and T-shirts or even run the marathon for PALESTINE? Why?"  

I didn't know what to answer I just stood in front of her and said Yasmine its lunch time take off your school clothes, and she ended the conversation with Oh, it seems that you do not know what’s happening in Palestine, never mind Hind, I'll tell you later.

Yasmine, it’s not that I don’t know what is happening, its only because I do not want to remember!

Happy New Year............things I miss....

Happy new year??? I know its too late for that, but for me my year just started, it was only till last week where I felt that things are going on normally and maybe sort of blooming! I don't know how I reached this level of disorientation if I may put it in such a context, but maybe I will find my way back home, who knows! I hope you have a great year........ filled with happiness that's because I believe that happiness brings money and success and laughter not the other way around.... after what I have been through I know for sure no matter what, that I will have a better year!
I don't have a new years resolution, but I do miss a lot of things that I do hope to see/do this year:

1. I miss the Zayeds (no exceptions) 
2. I miss Silwadi Juice
3. Za3tar ou Zeit
4. Rukab Street 
5. Having breakfast with Peter with a nasty hangover 
6. Christine, Basel & Tobi :) 
7. Abu Khaleeel 
8. Taboun Zaman 
9. STONES 
10. Taybeh & its festival
11. SNOWBAR
12. 3amo 3amer 
13. Playing Music
14. MARTIN, the weird steps while going towards BLUE!!!
15. 4 shekel to birzeit 7.5 to Jerusalem & 25 to Bethlehem
    

In other words I miss Ramallah!  Will I ever go back!

أميَة

فكرة سريعة, مابعرف مصدرها بسسسسس.....
مش هون المهم, المبدأ من وين اشتقينا كلمة أمي, هذا شخص أمي؟؟؟؟ يعني لفيت و درت براسي و ما طلع معي غير انو ممكن تكون لانو بالزمنات كتير من الامهات ما كانو يقرو ولا يكتبو, بس بصراحة عمين عم نتخوت... ما لقيت حالي غير عم بفكر انو كلمة امي ممكن تكون جاي من كلمة امة, و هلا عرفت لييش بحكو برنامج محو امبة........ الله يستر!

This time last year......

I am not going to start my post with Gaza, and supporting its people, I am very sorry for them I detest what has happened and what is still happening, I also will not use the will never forget will never forgive crap, because yes we, as ignorant, non believers, and needless to say we're all about talk talk talk bla bla bla (mara7 yitla3 bi2eedna shiiiii) we dont know how to forgive to forgive in the first place and then the forget part, sorry but what the heck can we chickens do, grow up, its said that vengeance is for God, even though I some times say beware I do tend to steal it from him but what the heck, nothing can be done!! or even SAID we did this to our selves we better live with the consequences......
This time last year I wasnt here, I was in Palestine, I was alive.... now after going through what I have went through I wish I could go back there!!! I miss the beauty of living..

This is just to remind me

So I decided to visit Amman, after 9 months of being away! I can't deny that I have missed it, but damn its different, the people are different, I don't know maybe I have changed. this is just to remind me one day of my feelings that I had when I came back to visit my family. this is just to remind me how I enjoyed the first three days doing all these pranks on family members and friends, and t his is just to remind me that my feelings haven't changed towards some elements hatred is still there, and this is just to remind me about my nervous break down that I had when i visited my school and where I worked and in front of my kids I cried like a baby, I never realized that the Amman Baptist School music suite was my haven back then, and I knew I wasn't ready to visit it because I wasn't ready to leave it when I left it........
To many mixed up feelings, too much negative energy surrounds my aurora, I know for sure now that I want to leave!

I walk down the street....

1. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes years to find a way out!
2. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I cant believe I'm in the same place!! But its not my fault, it still takes a long time to get out..
3. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I see it there, I STILL fall in, its a habit... My eyes are open, I know where I am, its all my fault. I get out immediately.
4. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk...... I walk around it.
5. I walk down the street, No No No!! I walk down a different street..........

My Mom's PHONE BOOK

I Have always wanted to blog about this, I hope my mom reads it!
My mom has the world most funniest phone book ever, its so hilarious it makes me angry whenever I have to use it, especially when Mom calls when I am at home and asks me for a number...

it might sound like this:

MOM: Hind a3tini raqam il taxi (give me the taxi number)
ME: ok......

so the journey begins:

I look under
T for taxi but NO LUCK
M for muwasalat.... no luck
W for wheels NO LUCK....

SO I GIVE UP!!! I call the directory and text her the number!!!

but never mind this is only one of those Numerous examples! this one cracks me up, I cant stop laughing when ever I think of it.....

Mom: Hind i7ki ma3 JET ou i7jizili bukra 3ala Suurya (please call the JET company and book a ticket to Syria)
ME: wein il raqam ( where is the number)
MOM: bil daftar ya3ni Hind wein biddo ykuun (in the phone book where would it be) then she giggles because I sigh in a weird way which she totally understands.

ME: ok Yamma

FRUSTRATED....

I look under
M for MUWASALAT
J for JET
B for BUS
S for SYRIA or SOMETHING
A for ANYWHERE

And as usual, I call back and kindly say: "I couldn't find it"

ME: mama ma la2eito (I couldn't find it)
MOM: dawri mnee7 (search well)
ME: WEIN BIL ZABT (where exactly) its not under M J B S A
MOM:Yimken lazem tdawri 3ind (93) ( maybe you should look under A)
ME: WHAT THE...... WHY 3 ??
MOM: 3ashano bil 3abdali (its under A because its located in the ABDALI)

I still cant figure out how she does this, because this was only the Jet bus company.... I bet my number would be stored under D because I am her Daughter, while my Fathers number is under O because he's Outta Town!!!

6 Months= Half a year... random thoughts

I never thought about it! but yup... tomorrow February the 16th marks HALF a YEAR for me HIND SABANEKH

Half a year....
-Away from Amman
-Away from my Home, Family, BED!!!
-Away from my friends.....

HALF A YEAR
-In heaven
-heading towards my goals and dreams
.......................................................................................................................
HIGHLIGHT OF FEELINGS

It was only yesterday when I came here... but its not!
I remember August was a dream come true,
I remember in September I couldn't believe I was here
I remember in October My first HOME Solo concert
after that in November I packed my bag to leave
..............I CHANGED MY MIND..................
I remember in December I cried my way to sleep
Then it was the New year......
January marked a glorious beginning
and February is just the same

........................................................................

To Mom,
I miss you so much, I Love you too! stop crying... I'll be back soon... I hope

To Dad,
I can't find the right words to tell you THANKS!! for what??? for letting me do this!

To Wael, Shireen , and Nick My brothers and sister,
I am not crazy, I am not silly... I know what I am doing... thanks for standing beside me! You are all the best

To Hussam MY FAVORITE brother,
I Love you more than words, and I miss you more that anything and anyone!! I miss getting on your nerves, I miss everything about you... even your silly childish pronunciation....
I miss you getting on my nerves... fighting for the car..... or anything else!! I know I have been a pain in the ass, but you'll always be my favorite brother... I love you... you were the only one who never doubted me... you always believed in me! I know you still do!

Dear Friends,
you know who you are, I miss you....
..............................................................................................................

6months= half a year!
thats only the beginning!

Its The little things that count..

I have been away since August 16th, I won't deny that I went through the "homesickness" syndrome for a while in the beginning but I got over it quickly, everybody here was so supportive and friendly..... but what I miss is the little stuff that made my life unique back then in Amman:
1. I miss PLAY and MOOD FM most.
2. I miss my Sameera (my car) and driving in the streets pumpinng the volume up listening either to clasical music or techno.
3. I miss my Garden
4. I miss my students
5. I miss Muna's room
6. I miss driving Hussam my brother crazy and we might end up fighting and hitting each other! :D
7. I miss the way my nephew pronounces my name!
......
its the small things that count in the end....

If You're happy and you know it THINK AGAIN!!!!

I often ask my self this question, AM I HAPPY??? well so what even if I am WHY the hell am I happy, whats there to be happy about!! so here comes the THINK AGAIN part......



I am not pessimistic, on the contrary, people around me often beg me to change my funny, happy personality they say its TOO MUCH, damn it people now there's a level for happiness as well ..... so I usually try to get to the meaning of this H word, and what I came up with is that the secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it. SO SHOULD I LIE!!! well to be honest no one is the main cause of my Happiness (thats if I had it), but then I rememer Aristotle's famous words: "Happiness depends upon ourselves." thats why I am happy!!! I cause it and I end it and I don't intend to any time soon!

RIP Amer Madi.

Yesterday, January 16th 2009, Jordan has lost an important person, one of the great Jordanian musicians/composers of all times in my opinion at least Mr. Amer Madi, may your soul rest in peace.
It was only yesterday when me and you used to sit down at your home and make fun of everything and talk about anything, I will never forget how you used to ask me about all these difficult rhythms that i must have known, nor will I forget the way you believed in me, you believed in me in a way no one has ever done.
You were more than a musician to me, you were a mentor, a teacher, and a Father.

Oubaida,
your father had a lot of achievements, fortunately you were one of them and by far the best, may God give you and your wonderful mom the strength to continue what he started,
I know what your father meant to you and I am so sorry I can't be in Amman to stand right there beside you.

Funeral Blues, is my current blues scale..... if it had notes it would sound something like this!


Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

Counting my way to SLEEP!!!!!

Have you ever had to count anything jump over any other thing so you can fall asleep??
I have and I bet you have done this as well, such as how many goats/sheep can jump over the fence? how many cars pass in a certain street?...etc

when ever I think of this sleeping "technique" if I may call it that way, I remember a joke in which a person has not been able to fall asleep for a long time, so he went to doctors, took pills did everything and still it all didn't work until one day one of his friends told him to go and count until one thousand!!! He thought he'll give it a try, and so he did, he put him self in bed started counting and by the time he reached 600 he got extremely sleepy, he got out of bed and washed his face in order to continue!!!

The other night I couldn't sleep, so I decided to count something. I didn't feel like counting, sheep, cars, or numbers.

What I counted was how many Israelis could be kicked higher than the wall and drop dead, and believe me that wasn't a nice thing to count, I didn't fall asleep until I managed to kick almost every single one of them, I was so sleepy I asked for help, I even started kicking them out in twos I also managed to get a couple of my niece's imaginary friends to do so as well....

I wish we can do that one day! Just kick them out before we go to bed, wake up the next morning and it's all good, and all gone!!

قل لي من تصاحب، أقول لك من أنت

فن التلاعب بالكلمات مع شوية زناخة....
الاول للثاني يا مان : قل لي من تصاحب، أقول لك من أنت
الثاني للاول: من تصاحب
الاول: من انت

و شكراً

Its CHRISTMAS

its such a nice season, I enjoy every part of it!
any ways that's not why I'm blogging, basically I hate it when everybody types Merry Xmass...
its wrong, its CHRISTMAS which is CHRIST+MASS
we all know who Jesus Christ is and Mass/Mas/Masse is a church celebration or just a celebration so we are celebrating Christ, by using X instead of Christ you are celebrating X which is not Christ, don't do abbreviations to save time, because by using X you are taking out the main element in Christmas which is the Christ.....

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

If for one moment I start talking about people her and about their qualities you will come and shut me up because I won't shut up, people's kindness, HONESTY, and sweetness here kills......
even when it comes to taxi drivers, they are amazing, a taxi driver drove me 2 times to where I live, the next time he saw me he honked his horn and told me he's going my direction if I wanted a lift.... ain't that sweet!!!
I don't think I can ever leave this place on earth, its almost heaven, it just has extra people that need to be evacuated and it'll be heaven...

من بعض ما أرى وأسمع

عابر سبيل كان، وأصبح صديق عريق ولربما صديق قديم.سجن مرات عدة، وكان ما يلبث أن يفرج عنه إلا وأن يعاود و يعود، أجمل أيام حياته قاضاها في السجن، هذا ما قاله لي، كان يحزن حينما يفرج عنه ويحن للزنزانة، كان يخرج ليطمئن على عائلته، ولكن حبه للزنزانة طغى الى حبه لعائلته، أو بالأحرى حبه لوطنه كان الفاعل في جملة حياته.
ذهبت لأزوره في منزله، ولفتت انتباهي جملةٌ معلقةٌ على حائط غرفة الجلوس، فضولي طلب مني معرفة

قصة هذه الجملة، فقال لي:هذه الجملة رافقتني في كل زنزانة دخلتها، رافقتني، وعزتني، كانت رفيقة دربي

سأصبر حتى يعجز الصبر عن صبري

واصبر حتى يأذن الله في أمري

واصبر حتى يعلم الصبر انني صابر على

شيء أمر من الصبر

I did it.....

3 months a go I applied for a visa to go to Palestine in order to participate in the Palestine Youth Orchestra workshop that was held there, unfortunately the Israeli embassy didn't issue the visa until a month and a half ago and yes I missed the workshop, so I got the visa I graduated from university and I went to Palestine on the 16th of August 2008 thinking I will never get the visa again so why not seize the moment and go visit.... I did it...

My dad almost cried on the phone when i told him I am going to Palestine, his home town to take a trip to visit his childhood, and to see what Palestine is all about, he begged me not to go there but that was when I said my first NO, I fought for what I wanted and yes I did it....
it really hurt me just to know that he remembers where he lived in small little details, he knew the names of the streets the color of the walls, the names of their neighbors, he remembers every single detail and he left it when he was just a kid...

The reality shocked me, I got there still in denial not believing that I am there, I loved it, I can finally say I am from Palestinian origins, I walked down the streets and I met people I know who still cant believe I entered, I pray for every person on the face of earth that one day they get the chance to see its glory, I walked in its streets, inhaled it essence, tasted its flavor... I did it

Its been a month now and I still can't believe that I did it, I saw it all, and I felt it all, the Churches and the Mosques the streets and the walls are live proof of a presence of a greater force, no words I can think of describe my feelings nor what I saw... I saw it all .... I did it

I am still here... I found my Jerusalem... I found my lost city... I found me.... I am not leaving..... I DID IT...

a Question on my mind....

Its such a weird thing when I descover something new in me, I recently found out that I am one of the most random thinking people on the face of earth I ever met..... I was sitting the other day watching a movie I guess untill I found me thinking out loud saying this sentence: "if you found some one working you ask do you need a hand?? why wouldnt you say something to a person walking like would you need a leg??"
.
.
.
.
end of thinking..... beginning of NOTHING..... SILENCE

Oh! Your daughter speaks English?? My niece speaks ARABIC!!!!

My sister was out of town a while ago so I had to baby sit Yasmin a 4 year old and Faris a 2 year old, and as their nice and of course COOL auntie Hindo I had to take them on outings and spend some fun quality time with them!!!!
NEVER MIND........... during that month when my sister was out of town Yasmin had a birthday invitation!!! YAAAAYYYYYYY she was so happy.......
YASMIN: "please Hindo take me I will be very nice I promise ou baw3idek ino ba7ki bil3arabi 3ashan inti you dont understand English for 3 days in a row!!!!"
ME: "ok thats a deal missy ou ana baw3idek ino i'll start learning English..."

I really hate how kids these days tend to speak only in English and a year or so after they end up with a crappy Arabic language command!!!!!

a week after this conversation its the birthdayyy!!! well I we went and of course I have to stay with her, sitting with kids moms (the GOLDEN LADIES a name i gave them) that speak only English, talk about shoes, fashion, etiquette and all this crap that does not interest me even if I was paid to be interested in!!!

ANY WAAYYYYY, one of the girls came to her MOMMY and was like "Mommy, that little boy over there is not sharing the slide with every one, its annoying." the MOMMY said: "even though my daughter is 4 she has perfect English, Arabic si3eb 3aleiha hala2 7aramm..."
I was so pissed but that was all at the same time when Yasmin came in.......drum roll......I was thinking of please ARABIC ARABIC YASMINE I7KI 3ARAAABIII..............."khalto Hindo, fee majal teeeji takhdeeni arooo7 a3mal rasem 3al wijeh ya3ni face painting ou t2ooli lal painter bidi farasheh ya3ni butter fly??" I was like YIS3ED RABBBBEKK, so I turned to the MOMMY and told her: " wow thats so great, same here even though Yasmin is 4 she has perfect Arabic she's not allowed to use English with me because Arabic better, English is too easy for her and thats 7aram."
gosh I wanted to kick that lady so hard, laykoon il wa7ad ili bi7ki 3arabi kundara!!!

Hind Vs. the Golden Ladies- MOMMY
1-0

Weird conversations abroad!!

I was in France recently, had a concert in Bellfort then I extended my trip to visit my uncle (mom's side), anyways, I have discovered he as well have the weird kind of questions such like the ones I have with mom!!
it was around 2 AM when I was sitting with the family watching TV playing cards, chatting, joking...family stuff ....etc so I decided its time to go to sleep, I headed down stairs to my room and I didnt sleep immediately, any ways very long story short, after 30 minutes or so my uncle cals me,
Khalo: HIINDDD
ME: aywaaa (yes)
Khalo: Nimtee??? (did you sleep yet??)
ME: ehhhhh, khaliini ashuuf!! ANDARI?? (eeehhh, let me check, no clue!!!)
Khalo: shlone ma 3am bifham?? (what, i dont understand)
ME: inta shu ra2yak? (what do you think)
*******SILENCE********

I find these conversations very weird, lack of common sense fills the air, but again common sense isnt always common as I may presume!!!