its been a while....

I hate it when I do this, I never start something and carry on doing it, I have been thinking about writing a blog for so long now where I reached to a point where I imagine my self doing it, it reached to a level where I BELIEVE I've added a blog every other day, then I finally woke up and smelled the coffee, its just a pain!

Thank you all for your support, your comments and emails asking me to go back to writing, to go back to something apparently I was good at.

more blogs soon to come....

My Latest Taxixperience

I Rarely take Taxi to get me to wherever I want to go, but unfortunately my car is in maintenance for the past 5 days or so, I had to take those flashy yellow cars to every destination i must go to. Basically I don't find my self a type of person who chats with taxi drivers they all talk about the same thing as if they are the same person in a million different bodies tossed around sharing the same "misery". 

My last taxi ride was actually interesting that it actually pushed me to blog it and put it in words; it all started when I waved my hand to stop a taxi to get back home from work, I got in to the classical Nissan Sunny taxi a man in his 60 driving, nicely dressed, nice watch smelling good if I am not mistaken its dunhill blue, very uncommon for a taxi driver and the ride went on like this***please note the language used: 

 

Me: Marj il Hamam 

Driver: ok, no problem..

so he took a wrong turn and I pointed it out that he was not supposed to go from that way... and that's were it all started.

Driver: عمو please I am very sorry, extremely sorry يا عمي

Me: له يا عمو مش مشكلة الواحد بخربش, مو مشكلة

Driver: والله ماكان قصدي يا عمو سامحيني.

after few minutes

Driver: do you work there (extreme american accent)

Me: yes

Driver: I'm sorry بس شو بتشتغلي يا عمو؟

Me: I'm a music teacher

Driver:HERE IN JORDAN...... where did you obtain your degree?

Me: من المعهد الوطني للموسيقى

Driver: يا عمو you want to convince me there's a music conservatory in this part of the world.

Me: yes الحمدلله

Driver: So what instrument?

Me: the trumpet.

Driver: I don't believe that I am driving a girl that plays trumpet and in Jordan, it seems that God does exist in this part of the world...

Me: **no comments**

Driver: يا عمو I know I sound nosy to you, and that I don't mind my own business but I found it interesting that a girl is playing the trumpet, this rarely happens.... Don't laugh at me if i tell you why I'm driving a Taxi its on my list.

Me: عمو الشغل مو عيب. المهم الواحد يكون يطلع مصروفه و يدبر حاله

Driver:عمو انا مو شوفير تكسي, انا من 31 سنة و انا برة الاردن و حلم حياتي اسوق تكسي باسواْ مكان للسواقة.... عمان..... 

عمو انا I've been a pilot for the American Airlines for the past 10 years, but I wanted to try the highs and lows I love flying but I wanted to try driving. So I came to Jordan I thought I'll visit my home town and I will show my wife and my daughter the city as they have never been here, we came 2 months ago my, my wife said you either get me a divorce or you send me back to the state, and my daughter was about to be FORCED to marry a relative because of what those ignorant people call شرف as if they have any of it. so this is my last week in this country we are leaving back. but I just can't believe it! how do you do it! how do you cope, I am 63 years old I can cry, this is not a country this is hell, there is no art, there is no music, youth have no proper life here, how do you do that.....

Me: we have to work things through, I am not happy as a musician in Jordan but I am trying to be.

by this time we were almost there

Driver: يا عمو انا بتمنى يكون في كمان ناس مثلك بس unfortunately this does not happen here! good luck

Bla Bla Blaaaahhhhh.... I know its just one of those cliches where I feel betrayed by my own country and all that none sense nor we can deny that what he is saying is actually true, I just found it coming from him very weird, usually its the other way around I nag shout fight and scream about how unfair this country is and then an elder person tells me what I'm doing and saying is wrong, I found it very weird coming from him and yes it is true!

Jordan, Enjoy your Independence while it lasts....

Those who know me and follow my blog know that I am a teacher, I teach the next generation, I am building the future, I am..... never mind that is not the issue and I am not the center of the universe and the world does not revolve around me I only have to do my job..

As a music teacher at a very important school in Amman the music department is preparing for the independence day event that almost all grade levels will participate in, yesterday when I had one of my classes a students came to me and asked:

Student #1: " Miss so, we are doing two events one for the independence day and the other one for عيد الاستقلال؟" 

Me: **I stared at him for 10 seconds**

Student #2: " Miss, Whats the difference between the Independence day and عيد الاستقلال؟"

Me: Oh, you don't know? the Independence day is on the 25th of may while عيد الاستقلال في يوم 25 ايار.

Students#1: " Oh, I did not know that." 

It's better done in a different way when "youth" don't know the difference between the Independence day and عيد الاستقلال  its no longer a matter of education, knowledge, or understanding, its a matter of national security and a nation's future driven down the path of the unknown towards the unknown !

To whom it may concern, 

نحن الشباب لنا الغد  ومجده المخلد

 نحن الشباب شعارنا على الزمن عاش الوطن ..

 عاش الوطن بعنا له يوم المحن أرواحنا بلا ثمن

 يا وطني عداك دم مثل كمن يرعى الذمم

 علمتنا كيف الشمم و كيف يرفع العلم

 نحن الشباب السفح و الجداول و الحقل و السنابل

 و ما بنى الأوائل نحن له معاقل

الدين في قلوبنا و النور في عيوننا و الحق في يميننا

 و الغار في جبيننا نحن الشباب لنا الغد 

Are you serious?

given the text above would you please define the BOLD words!

Even adults don't pay attention!!

Today is our first day back to school after a two week midterm and Easter break BOOOHOOOOOO, no kids at school today its a normal orientation on set meeting day where heads of departments talk and talk non stop about issues that are of our "concern" (or to put it in a MYP language our AOI)
I find it very weird how teachers were acting in the meeting(s), two teachers beside me were trying to pop a candy out of the candy wrap and it was so loud they started laughing and acting like Mr. Bean when he was at church, while the other teacher in front of me was loving the fact that he can make origami flowers out of post it notes while his colleague was sniffing it to see if it actually smells good. Teachers were acting just like teenage students, making fun of the person in front of them, telling jokes, even playing tic tac toe and hangman on the brain storming scrap sheets, even doodling while the MYP coordinator was still giving out important information. I am not criticizing any of the teachers I am not better than any of them the Coordinator asked us to finish a task and hand it back in the next 20 minutes and here I am blogging about it! I wonder whats for lunch today, should I text mom from under the table so no one notices.....

Why Haiti my niece asked?

We all heard about the catastrophic Haiti earthquake that happened earlier this year and I am also sure you heard about all the aids that were sent to Haiti from all over the world, its the least we could do of course our prayers to God the all mighty to help them in putting an end to their misery, in the end everything does happen for a reason. This is not the main reason behind this post, its because I had to face a question from a 6 year old that pushed me to publish this.
My niece Yasmine goes to the same school I teach at the IAA, currently this school is supposed to be one of the best schools in the Kingdom, since the catastrophic earthquake the blasted its way through on the 12th of January 2010 the school became highly active organizing clothes and books drives, bake sales, selling black T-shirts with Help Haiti printed on them as well as having Twelve Terrific Teachers from the school who ran the 242km marathon to raise funds for Haiti.
The T-shirts where sold to almost all the students, and to make them more appealing to 1st graders they were white and printed on them was the class photo underneath help Haiti, Yasmine bought the T-shirt because all her classmates did so, she came to me wearing it and she’s showing it off to everyone and she said to me: "you know Hind why I bought this T-shirt?" why? I asked she replied:
"only because it has me and my friends on it, I don't understand Hind WHY HAITI, I know about the earthquake and all those who died but it was an accident and accidents happen, why didn't they do this bake sale and T-shirts or even run the marathon for PALESTINE? Why?"  

I didn't know what to answer I just stood in front of her and said Yasmine its lunch time take off your school clothes, and she ended the conversation with Oh, it seems that you do not know what’s happening in Palestine, never mind Hind, I'll tell you later.

Yasmine, it’s not that I don’t know what is happening, its only because I do not want to remember!

Happy New Year............things I miss....

Happy new year??? I know its too late for that, but for me my year just started, it was only till last week where I felt that things are going on normally and maybe sort of blooming! I don't know how I reached this level of disorientation if I may put it in such a context, but maybe I will find my way back home, who knows! I hope you have a great year........ filled with happiness that's because I believe that happiness brings money and success and laughter not the other way around.... after what I have been through I know for sure no matter what, that I will have a better year!
I don't have a new years resolution, but I do miss a lot of things that I do hope to see/do this year:

1. I miss the Zayeds (no exceptions) 
2. I miss Silwadi Juice
3. Za3tar ou Zeit
4. Rukab Street 
5. Having breakfast with Peter with a nasty hangover 
6. Christine, Basel & Tobi :) 
7. Abu Khaleeel 
8. Taboun Zaman 
9. STONES 
10. Taybeh & its festival
11. SNOWBAR
12. 3amo 3amer 
13. Playing Music
14. MARTIN, the weird steps while going towards BLUE!!!
15. 4 shekel to birzeit 7.5 to Jerusalem & 25 to Bethlehem
    

In other words I miss Ramallah!  Will I ever go back!

أميَة

فكرة سريعة, مابعرف مصدرها بسسسسس.....
مش هون المهم, المبدأ من وين اشتقينا كلمة أمي, هذا شخص أمي؟؟؟؟ يعني لفيت و درت براسي و ما طلع معي غير انو ممكن تكون لانو بالزمنات كتير من الامهات ما كانو يقرو ولا يكتبو, بس بصراحة عمين عم نتخوت... ما لقيت حالي غير عم بفكر انو كلمة امي ممكن تكون جاي من كلمة امة, و هلا عرفت لييش بحكو برنامج محو امبة........ الله يستر!

This time last year......

I am not going to start my post with Gaza, and supporting its people, I am very sorry for them I detest what has happened and what is still happening, I also will not use the will never forget will never forgive crap, because yes we, as ignorant, non believers, and needless to say we're all about talk talk talk bla bla bla (mara7 yitla3 bi2eedna shiiiii) we dont know how to forgive to forgive in the first place and then the forget part, sorry but what the heck can we chickens do, grow up, its said that vengeance is for God, even though I some times say beware I do tend to steal it from him but what the heck, nothing can be done!! or even SAID we did this to our selves we better live with the consequences......
This time last year I wasnt here, I was in Palestine, I was alive.... now after going through what I have went through I wish I could go back there!!! I miss the beauty of living..

This is just to remind me

So I decided to visit Amman, after 9 months of being away! I can't deny that I have missed it, but damn its different, the people are different, I don't know maybe I have changed. this is just to remind me one day of my feelings that I had when I came back to visit my family. this is just to remind me how I enjoyed the first three days doing all these pranks on family members and friends, and t his is just to remind me that my feelings haven't changed towards some elements hatred is still there, and this is just to remind me about my nervous break down that I had when i visited my school and where I worked and in front of my kids I cried like a baby, I never realized that the Amman Baptist School music suite was my haven back then, and I knew I wasn't ready to visit it because I wasn't ready to leave it when I left it........
To many mixed up feelings, too much negative energy surrounds my aurora, I know for sure now that I want to leave!

I walk down the street....

1. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes years to find a way out!
2. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I cant believe I'm in the same place!! But its not my fault, it still takes a long time to get out..
3. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk, I see it there, I STILL fall in, its a habit... My eyes are open, I know where I am, its all my fault. I get out immediately.
4. I walk down the street, there's a deep hole in the side walk...... I walk around it.
5. I walk down the street, No No No!! I walk down a different street..........